Thank You: A Conversation with Wisdom

Oh, how I love thee, Wisdom.

For you have become to me like a sister;
you have made insight my closest of friends.

Every day you come and visit me,
Staying long, dwelling in my home.
You gently speak, sometimes loudly shout,
Your words are the greatest of treasures; I hold them very close to my heart.

Where would I be without you!
What would I have become?

For my own strength would have been counted as the dust,
my efforts as a futile pursuit.

But you, Wisdom, are a lamp to my feet, a light to my path,
A help, a guide, my daily companion.

Spaces In-Between: A Conversation

“I’m in a season of coolness,” I said to her. “You know, I wake up, and it’s not all at 100. I’m learning, but it’s all very manageable.”

I paused… “But I know that I need to get going, move into the next thing, where I’m stretched, and can feel and know it continually.”

She smiled.

“It’s ok to have seasons of it being cool. We can learn as much in those times, as we do in the stretch and busy times.”

I reflected on the statement. It was true. I had become clearer on the important things to me, what and who brought me joy. Which things were useless, just a chasing of the wind.

She saw my reflection, and gave me a few seconds…

“Leave space open for other things to fill the space,” she said.

That was powerful to me.

Because, you never know what beautiful things will come in – if you let them.

The Bird in My Garden

A poem by Zephaniah.

“How I long to be as free as a bird,

Hopping among the leaves,

Gliding from tree to tree,

The entire world is my playground,

The work of others is my feed,

I see and bask in all of creation, and its creativity,

Its energy. Come rain, sun or storm,

I’m always reminded that I am free.

Then I stopped looking at the bird in my garden,

And I’m reminded that the bird is me.”

Narrated version of The Bird in My Garden

Do as I say, not as I do? “Short Story”

Father: “Son, do the task like no one is looking. Aim and aspire for excellence. It’s an internal motor, not an external trigger.”

Son: “Ok Dad. I will, thank you”

Key turns in lock.

Father: “Your mums home! Pick my socks up from the floor and pretend we know how to use the dishwasher!”

Fear, Perfectionism. A Saturday Afternoon In My Kitchen.

imperfection

I was thinking. Just considering. You know when you take a step back, and just look at yourself, trying as best as you possibly can, to do it wholeheartedly, without bias and the rose tints. Well, I was doing that. I wasn’t getting much back from it, no epiphany, no fantastic insight, no next great step.

So I just decided to have a cup of coffee. Black coffee.

I boiled the kettle, measured out 3 teaspoons of Nescafe, waited for the inevitable click and poured the water. I sipped once and just stood there. Peering, no, actually staring, I was staring at nothing. I sipped again, and again, and again.

For some strange reason, the next sips came with steps. I walked up the staircase and found myself in my home office. I sat down. Looking at the empty monitors. “Youtube.com” I thought. So, I typed it in. “Let’s find something interesting to watch”. Some recommendations popped up, a few documentaries, an Avengers Endgame, “Easter Eggs you missed” video. Naturally, with the mood I was in – reflective, meditative and ponderous I clicked the Avengers video.

30 seconds in. I turned it off. Went into my OneNote, and clicked into my writing notebook, and started looking at my writing drafts. I was surprised. Very surprised. Roughly 40 started but never “finished” pieces of writing. Varying from short fictional & non-fictional stories, longer extended essays, how-to’s and tips and tricks – you name it. They were there. Just sat there. Never “finished”.

I read a few. Hmm… Some were crap, some were good, they made me laugh, ponder and reflect. “Why did i never hit publish”, I wondered aloud. Perfectionist? Fearful? Wait, I retorted to myself. “Aren’t those two things just interchangeable?” Maybe they are for writing.

Then. All of a sudden, I moved into autopilot. WordPress.com, drafts – and I just started writing. I wrote this.

Then I told myself. Publish these drafts. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Screaming In Closed Spaces

HELP!” A female voice pierced the atmosphere. A shout. A massive shout!

My eyes and head immediately looked up and to my right. Then, a furious hand clap followed, accompanied with another, “Help!”

A few people stood up. I noticed my heart beat quicken, followed by a brief rush of adrenaline. What is happening, what is going on.

Suddenly. A young lady bounded down the aisle. “I’m a doctor,” she confidently proclaimed.

Ok.

I felt the collective inaudible sigh of relief from everyone else.

This isn’t what you want to be happening, in the middle of your transatlantic Virgin Airlines flight.

Normality resumed

Apparently someone was having a seizure.

A lady on my right looked over.

“Exactly what you don’t want to hear in the middle of a flight,” she said, still obviously shaken up. I gave her a reassuring smile. You know, one of those, I’m here for you smiles. I think it helped.

“I know right” I replied.

Going through traumatic, tough experiences together accelerates bonding.

Ask the cast of Love Island.

So I’m glad I was there for her.

The woman who had the seizure was fine.

Everyone went back to sleeping, reading, drinking and eating.

Me. I wrote this, and pondered the main thought I had as the situation unfolded.

If I go to the next life now, that’s disappointing. There’s still more to experience, more to see, more to do, and more to give.

But I’m at peace. I go and see my maker.

The gym for physical gains. But, there’s more to life than the gym.

This is so important.

Outline it pratically. (Write it out) It will be a place. A person/s.

If I have an emotional need – who or where

If I have an mental need – who or where

If I have a spiritual need – who or where

Speak. Search. Someone near you has, or is your solution.

Zephaniah.

Blocks – This Just Can’t Be Me?

"If I stare and look really sad, then I'll think of something to write" — “If I stare and look really sad, then I’ll think of something to write”

Think about everything that on the inside, you know you have to write about, do something about, say something about. Then just leave it. Forget about it, and keep moving … Is that the right thing to do? Continue reading “Blocks – This Just Can’t Be Me?” →

Perfect Weakness

I sat recently having dinner with a friend.

We were exchanging the usual banter and laughs when she made a comment about herself that was quite self-defeating. So as you would expect from any ‘good friend/person’ I countered it.

I was shocked with her response. Continue reading “Perfect Weakness” →